epiphany

ok, it's my last week of 100% raw. first, i would like to be honest and say that i have had 3 hard boiled eggs this month. i also had a cup of popcorn and a few pretzels the other night. and i've had a combined total of about 5 glasses of wine. oh, and in total, 6 lindt truffles. ok, feels good to get that off my chest. i also feel entitled to bites of things that do not include meat. i mean it when i say bites. and my boyfriend means it when he offers me the absolute smallest portion possible with the tip of his fork. funny. not.

i've been thinking about how much i have been craving steak. i think about it a lot. i think the problem with this diet is that my body is a protein whore. hence the hard boiled eggs. that being said, the other night my friends got steak to make at home. the smell of it made me ill. the look of it made me ill. i ate a teeny bite of emily's steak. it just wasn't that impressive. weird.

the reason i entitled this entry epiphany is that i had one today. what i'm going to say would have nauseated me a month ago, so reader beware...

i am satisfied with much much much smaller portion sizes. i have found that throughout the month i have been eating less and less. not like scary less. but like an orange satisfies my hunger craving and i don't eat again for an hour or so less. i don't want to get too excited and think that my issues with food are over. part of this could be that i am completely and totally sick of the food. which is an interesting point. i have found that in the last week or so i haven't really wanted the food from the restaurant, i would rather make my own salad with lots of fun and interesting vegetables. kale is so good for this. i went to whole foods the other day and they had the best kale salad that was heavy on the sesame oil dressing that was DELICIOUS. but seriously, i've always been a sucker for the salad bar. the difference is now, bring on the full fat God blessed olive oil. and i don't feel guilty even a little.

a sad thing to report is that i am growing sick of avocados. maybe sick is too strong. but my heart used to palpitate thinking about guacamole. now, i just feel happy and content. ok, so that's not exactly "sick of" type feelings. and yes, i did make a huge vat of guac last night for the game watching party. and yes, i ate my fair share. but still, not as exciting.

on the other hand--oranges! who knew? my school apparently gets their oranges from the grove of glory. since the students never eat their oranges in our breakfast cooler, i take the leftovers and eat them myself. mmmmmmmmmm.... smaller oranges have a higher probability to be particularly juicy, tart, sticky, and tangy. I am so happy about oranges.

another thing to note is that in this whole month i have only had one tray of raspberries and i have had no other berries. weird. but it's winter. they're not in season. barbara kingsolver would be proud. (but only of that, none of the rest of my food is local.)

finally, the question of "how now, brown cow"? i've been thinking about what to do next. i have decided, based on the fact that my online budget-ometer tells me i spent $600 on groceries and dining out this month (i am a cow) that i am not going to continue the program. also, i'm getting a little sick of the food. but i am planning to continue in an endeavor to eat a high raw diet. what one man defines this to mean is that you eat 70-90% raw, 10-20% vegan and 5-10% whatever you want. (which he defined to mean, "even animal protein.") i think i can mostly do this. i am going to continue to do no sugar and caffeine, and press onward. i think that this really is good for my body and for my mind and spirit.

i'm starting the training for the triathlon next month, so i think eating high raw, with more hard boiled egg and other lean, organic, locally grown, happy protein added in will be a good combination for the training. i do think i will mostly stay away from breads and grains. i once had a doctor tell me he thinks i'm allergic. also, a lot of crackers and the like are more processed than i would like. i am trying to stay away from ingredients i can recognize or pronounce. if i don't have a good idea of how it is taken from the ground and put into my food, i probably shouldn't be eating it.

alas, i have only lost a little over 5lbs so far. but i feel like that weight loss has been legit, and earned. it's not just a fast fad thing, but a changing and renewing of my mind and body. and that's worth far more than 5lbs. (and maybe even $600?)